Growing up in the United States and residing in a variety of cooperative living situations, you come to understand different people come to these circumstances with very different outlooks on how humans should collaborate under the same roof. Following is a synthesis of my observations based not just upon the actions of other humans but also my personal evolution and aspirations. The tiers of outlooks are highly motivated by both the American culture and the individual maturity of each member of the home. There will always be exceptions, and some people are giving in one area and selfish in another. Importantly, there is no judgment being cast here, nor is this a statement that our community members have achieved anything in the way of communal enlightenment. This is simply a summary of how individual outlook will influence the relationships that form around that person. Perhaps this can be useful for others in considering how their outlook promotes or limits their personal growth.
INDIVIDUAL
Responsibility: Seen as something that can be disregarded and stands in the way of personal pursuits.
Children: Often viewed as an annoyance as they disrupt the individual’s control over their environment. Little to no attention is provided toward the care or education of the next generation. Individuals often get upset at the children or refuse to assist the children before themselves.
Economy: Financial networks. Sees gifts or acts of kindness as debts that must be repaid to balance out the sheet. Indebtedness is to be avoided as it hampers freedom.
Daily Practice: Self-absorption. Most days spent separate from others working on tasks of personal interest.
Contribution: Often loathes to contribute labor and/or finances. Frequently does not contribute to household tasks because the need is not observed or requires many prompts and reminders to collaborate with other members of the home.
Outlook: Selfishness. Virtually all of the day is spent on tasks of self-interest. Extrinsic factors and guilt are primary motivating influences for joining in communal work projects.
Fate: Separate, even during times of shared living space.
ROOMMATE
Responsibility: Participates in daily duties of the household or land but is not necessarily forward thinking about the continued existence of the community. Often has a difficult time finding balance between personal and communal time.
Children: Views children as part of the household and occasionally assists with childcare. Does not necessarily commit time toward their education, nor are the children’s role in the community fully appreciated. Only rarely are the children viewed as an annoyance.
Economy: A mix of financial networks and reciprocal gift economy. Prefers to keep the sheet squared away (i.e., gifts and acts of kindness repaid) so that they can ultimately be free of entanglement.
Daily Practice: “Good neighbor”. Roommates want to be helpful and often truly care about the other community members, though their ultimate motivations may still be personal.
Contribution: Donates time and money to necessary tasks to keep the household running and solvent.
Outlook: “Grass may be greener elsewhere”. Roommates are part of the community until options they view as better for them arise. Motivation is based on both intrinsic and extrinsic factors, as well as wanting people to have a good perception of their person.
Fate: Shared during times of cohabitation.
COMMUNITY MEMBER
Responsibility: Seen as a fundamental part of human and nature relationships that cannot be avoided. Understands the value and participates in communal goals. Recognizes there is a balance between personal and communal time.
Children: Seen as a fundamental part of the community and their importance toward the continuation of everything the community stands for is understood. Community members spend time educating the children and imparting a way of viewing the world that upholds the community’s values. Often assist children before themselves or simultaneously during food preparation, etc.
Economy: Indirect reciprocal gift economy. Appreciates fully that those who give will receive within the communal network of gifts and acts of kindness. Accepts being indebted and entangled with other people and the land.
Daily Practice: Service beyond self. Most days are spent caring for both the individuals needs and the community’s needs. They understand that they can build the world they want to see locally if there is willingness and desire to work toward that goal.
Contribution: Commits effort to the daily tasks of the home, land, and childcare, and shares financially toward communal costs. Further, there is contribution to the community’s future in work projects and/or economic accounts.
Outlook: Selflessness. The coming generations (of humans and other-than-human persons) are fully integrated into decision making. An important goal is striving for maturity and a desire to leave the world in a better condition than when they first encountered her at birth. Motivation is primarily intrinsic and based on a desire to be a good human, whether or not people are watching.
Fate: Entangled, even into the future.